the prelude

i abhor people telling me what to expect.

sit waiting in the spur smoking section at cape town international airport.  i hate spur, i hate smoking sections.
'it's going to be epic. an adventure.'
'you'll have the time of your life.'
'it's gonna be a shock but you can handle it.'
 
shaking hands, i light another smoke.
i hate cigarette smoke, that smell.
 
'you'll settle in quickly, i know you.'
'a year goes by so quickly.'
'you'll make a lot of friends.'
 
smoke in my eye, blinded. can't they open a window in this place?
'nearly time, i should get going.'
 
saying goodbye, most sucky. but i get on the plane anyway.
cape town to joburg, two hours, earphones in and eyelids shut. joburg to hong kong, thirteen hours, open a book, "going to china? you'll love it, lemme give ya some advice -" close the book, earphones in, eyelids shut. hong kong to guilin, earphones in, eyelids wide open, staring at my fellow countrymen-to-be for the next year. i could shout curses at the top of my lungs with a smile on my face and they wouldn't even know. 

arrive in guilin, heavy bags. why did i pack so much shit? thanks for helping anyway, mum.
walk out to to be received by a little bearded man named BB.
"what's your name?"
"tessa."
"i can give you chinese name.
小沙.(Xiǎo shā). it means little sand."

and so it begins.